The birth of my brother 22 years ago automatically secured me with a built-in room mate if ever I needed one, and well, the time has come. I asked him some months ago, following me telling Chris I want a divorce, if he would be interested in being my room mate. Three weeks ago I became full-time status at work, thus allowing me to think more strategically about living on my own. Him and I found a place, and will be moving in sometime next week. There are several caveats that come to mind, however:
- Neither of us plan on being in San Diego for very much longer (much to my parents dismay, I'm sure). Referring back to my previous post, I plan on being in San Diego no longer than 1 more year, and my brother will be discharging from the Navy in 2011 to join the Marine Corps.
- Related to caveat 1, we need to decide within the next 6 months if we're going to continue living there until he leaves (meaning I will be paying rent for a place I won't be living in for 3 months and potentially not be going back to at all after I complete Officer Candidacy School).
- We have absolutely nothing to put in our house besides what little belongings we both have, a TV and various game consoles that are rightly his, and a cat that is rightly mine. By some act of God, I managed to secure a mattress and two couches from various coworkers for a small fee. Supposedly it's all in great, gently used condition. At this point, I couldn't give a shit...
- Despite being able to "afford" living on my own, I will be living just within my means. I will be broke for a long, long time, which will make me leaving for OCS that much more meaningful.
But everything about the situation makes those three (and I'm sure there are more...) points completely worth the trouble. Our situation is entirely temporary. Just the fact that I'll be on my own, with my own room and own space, is more important to me than any of the negative aspects that may arise.
Not all those who wander are lost...
...life moves on. I'm still living, still breathing, happy with myself and the choices I've made with my life. Instead of succumbing to the split-second thought "it's 9 in the morning and well, I'd rather stay in bed all day", I realized not a whole lot gets done when you're just laying there. The same could be said for just about everything in life. Every day, I am faced with a situation that proves just how true that is. So I get up, time and time again. Pull back the covers and face the world, because the world will go on without me regardless.
I am on the move. In 3 months, I will be done with nursing school and ready to face the world. I want to join the Navy as a nurse; I am forcing myself to meet new challenges that I never thought I'd ever choose to take on. If I do this, I will be moving to a completely different coast for 3 months, by myself. Who knows what kind of physical and mental challenges I'll go through once I'm there to prepare me for the military life. On top of that, where will I decide to "end up" once I'm done with my training: back to San Diego, stay on the east coast, go overseas? The possibilities will be endless, and I can't wait. This is exactly the kind of thing I've been waiting for, what I've broken away from my old life for. To not only find myself, but to make myself.
The stress, frustration, and anguish of a life gone wrong are dredged up constantly. I need a fresh start to mend this broken heart. Granted, everything that ever happened to me was partially because of me, but it doesn't hurt any less. I look forward to moving on from all of this, creating a new image for myself, and coming home eventually to find that time really does work miracles. At least, that's what I'm hoping for. I will miss my family and friends more then anything, but I'm no stranger to this. For this I am thankful for coming from a Navy family. I am no stranger to change; in fact, I often times crave it. Stability, stricture, and discipline are some things I need. I'm far too spoiled for my own good, I need a swift kick in the ass and a little growin' up to boot. I also want to see the world (for free) and the spare change I'll collect along the way isn't a bad incentive.
Divorce is hard, heartbreak is hard too. But an unhappy life is unacceptable. And I am finally happy.
Does anyone even use Vox anymore?
Today was the shittiest day I've had all year. I do not even understand how so many things can go wrong! Ugh, thanks for the added stress life. You're a real pal, ya know? Well it actually just became funny how so many things were disastrous but I mean nobody wants EVERYTHING to go wrong, you know? Cross your fingers that the power doesn't shut off while I'm writing this.
HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!! I heard something quite amazing today... RASCAL FLATTS IS COMING HERE OCTOBER! Tickets go on sale the 10th I believe and I'm going to be all over that. To go with the awesomeness that is RF enjoy my favorite song...
Sad to see Michelle leave Big Brother but happy Jordan stayed. She'd better win!
Naturally I'm going to address the most important worldly news as of this moment: Kevin winning P.O.V. on BB11. If either he or Natalie wins BB11 I may end up with a bald spot. It's the same when two of the "Nerd Herd" people made final two awhile back. How frustrating!
ha ha, alright now to the funniest and most pathetic thing I've heard this week.
A central Pennsylvania man said he robbed a bank in 2007 to go to jail and get away from his overbearing wife. At a sentencing hearing Monday, 39-year-old Anthony Miller said he robbed a bank in Ephrata because he wanted to leave his then-wife but she had threatened to commit suicide if he did.
I guess the couple did get a divorce but SERIOUSLY. Is this how bad needy women are getting? That her husband would rather rob a bank and do jail time than live with her? SERIOUSLY?!!
Anyways, this was just a quick update to tell all ya'll that I'm too damn lazy to finish any layouts I've started for an actual domain so... this is it for now! Oh.. and... If you haven't played Sims 3 you should. Now.
Show us an adorable baby.
Sure!! With pleasure!!
If you could be featured in a magazine which one would you choose?
Either Psychology Today (as a therapist) or National Geographics (though I don't know what I could contribute to it).
What is the one word that perfectly describes your day today?
submitted by [this is connie]
Lily.
She controls it, every aspect of it. She dictates when I take my showers, when I eat, when I sleep, when I do my chores, etc. She is the runner of my life. I suppose this was warned to me, and I didn't quite understand what the heck people were talking about. I'm not complaining, by no means, but wow, what a change it has been in life. It's exciting and very rewarding, though, when she looks up at me and stops crying the second she realizes The Mama's here in her vicinity. It makes me just want to have three dozen more kids (okay no, I'm just kidding, Universe, don't take me up on that! :P). She looks at me and smiles and I'm like "Oh my gooodness when did my days NOT revolve around her?" :)
What three qualities do you look for in a partner?
Submitted by Tenor Bob
It's gotta be: intelligence, humor, and humility/kindness. Can't stand an arrogant, boring idiot. ;P
Unfortunately, I can't make up my mind. I went back to posting on livejournal. =P
But I'll keep this for reading your entries if that's ok.
